🚨 Ants In Your Pants – April 16 2025

Happy Wednesday. 

A man in Germany was fined €4,500 for hugging German Chancellor Olaf Scholz. Those German leaders really don’t “embrace” their constituents. Get it!?

Translation: “I don’t like hugs.”

In Case You Missed It.

🇧🇪 Two Belgian teens were charged with “wildlife piracy” in Kenya because they were trying to smuggle out 5,000 ants. They said that they did not know that was illegal and just wanted the ants for fun.

🕵️‍♂️ A senior advisor to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was put on leave for reportedly leaking classified information.

đź§ľ IRS whistleblower Gary Shapley, who exposed the Justice Department for covering up Hunter Biden’s tax investigation, will reportedly “be promoted by President Trump and serve as acting commissioner of the agency.”

🏠 Actor Gene Hackman’s home was reportedly found to be infested with rodents, which may explain why his wife died of hantavirus.

đź’¸ Lee Zeldin, the head of the EPA, is investigating a company for “geoengineering by injecting sulfur dioxide into the sky and then selling ‘cooling credits.'”

🏗️ The White House announced a plan to “unleash” new permitting technology to fast track the process of getting government permits.

âš˝ Soccer fans in Rome damaged “at least €4,000 worth of garbage dumpsters” with “urban warfare” and at least one man was arrested.

⏰ Join us for our Redacted live show today at 4PM Eastern Time. You can subscribe for FREE right here – we have lots to talk about.

MARKETS

Gold

$3,289.75

Silver

$32.44

Bitcoin

$83,457.90

Dow

40,368.96

S&P

5,396.63

Nasdaq

16,823.17

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 5:00AM.

Lead: Iran Nuclear Deal

Photo credit: Reuters

The U.S. may insist that Iran “eliminate its nuclear enrichment” program in the next round of negotiations this weekend.

Iran has said that it enriches uranium for nuclear power plants but nuclear power plants only require uranium to be enriched to 3-5%. Iran has admitted to the International Atomic Energy Agency that it enriches uranium to 20-60%.

A nuclear weapon requires uranium enriched to 90%.

So why do they enrich uranium to that 20-60%? There are uses for “low-enriched uranium” such as naval propulsion submarines, medical isotope production for cancer diagnostics and treatment, etc.

Could the Trump administration be comfortable with this? If they aren’t, would Iran give it all up?

The U.S. envoy Steve Witcoff said this about it: “A deal with Iran will only be completed if it is a Trump deal. Any final arrangement must set a framework for peace, stability, and prosperity in the Middle East — meaning that Iran must stop and eliminate its nuclear enrichment and weaponization program.”

Joe Biden Returns

Photo credit: PBS

Former President Biden made his first public appearance since he left office and, besides farting loudly, he droned on and on about the Trump administration’s threats to Social Security.

He talked about how the Social Security website is down and people are freaking out. That happened once weeks ago. He joked about 300-year-old Social Security recipients and said that “by the time we left office, we had improved every single line of customer service from apply for disability to filing an appeal to reporting fraud.”

As someone whose tax return was filed on time but marked late, that was…not my experience during the end of the Biden administration but who is going to challenge him?

The former President made headlines by reminiscing about watching “colored” children denied public school in Delaware when he was a child. He was using the terms he would have used in that time. Is it the worst thing for an elderly man to say? Come on, man!

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Zelensky Extends His Presidency

Photo credit: Getty Images

Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky gave himself a three-month extension of his own presidency by extending martial law for another three months.

Ukraine was due for presidential elections last year but President Zelensky canceled them and has said many times that the Ukrainian people don’t want to go to the polls. They like him right where he is. If only there was a way to know that for sure….

Ukrainian media had been reporting that Zelensky would not extend his regime but, alas, he did. And his advisors say that elections will not be held until at least six months after martial law ends.

Zelensky also said on Tuesday that the war with Russia has to end “diplomatically” because Ukraine lacks the military might to beat Russia but reiterated that Ukraine will never acknowledge the territory that now belongs to Russia as Russian. Not that it would even matter if he did.

Meanwhile, Ukraine has “simplified” the process of applying to fight for Ukraine as a foreign mercenary. The new process authorizes officials to “arrange and pay for transportation, food, and accommodation.” Since Ukraine cannot enforce military conscription, they’ll pay for your food and travel if you want to volunteer. WHO would do that?

News By The Numbers

17. That is how many states may see the Northern Lights today from a G3 geomagnetic storm.

May 29. That is when HBO Max will launch the next season of the “Sex and the City” spinoff “And Just Like That.” The trailer was released on Tuesday.

2.3%. That is how much food prices were up in March in Canada, down from 2.6% in February.

 

What’s Trending?

Photo credit: CBS

Wink Martindale is trending because the TV show host died at the age of 91.

Lil Nas X is trending because the rapper says that he lost control of one side of his face but did not explain why.

Letitia James is trending because she has been referred to the Justice Department for a criminal investigation of alleged mortgage fraud. According to the New York Post, she allegedly “’falsified records’ to get home loans for a property in Virginia that she claimed was her ‘principal residence’ in 2023.” Mortgage fraud was what she prosecuted President Trump for.

Autism on the Rise

Photo credit:  CDC

A new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that autism is up 16.1% since the last time they checked.

The new report shows that 1 in 31 children have autism.

Could it be because it is more broadly diagnosed? Possibly but why would it vary so much by region?

U.S. Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. said this in a statement: “The autism epidemic is running rampant. One in 31 American children born in 2014 are disabled by autism. That’s up significantly from two years earlier and nearly five times higher than when the CDC first started running autism surveys in children born in 1992, opens in a new tab. Prevalence for boys is an astounding 1 in 20 and in California it’s 1 in 12.5.”

This clearly calls for more research and Secretary Kennedy said this: “Autism is preventable and it is unforgivable that we have not yet identified the underlying causes. We should have had these answers 20 years ago.”

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This newsletter is written and researched by Natali Morris.
Please feel free to reach Natali at [email protected]
for any editorial feedback.

– Redacted News Team

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