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🚨 Fuzzy Math – April 17 2026

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Clayton & Natali Morris
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Happy Friday

In an odd video, a humanoid bot was captured running after a herd of boars in Warsaw, Poland, a city plagued by over 3,000 wild pigs.

It turns out that Edward Warchocki (yes, that’s the robot’s name) was taking part in a promotional stunt. It’s not his first. Previous clips show Edward chasing marathon runners and appearing at press events with politicians.

Well… at least someone is having fun.

Photo credit: AOL

MARKETS

Gold

$4,790.96

Silver

$78.32

Bitcoin

$74,694.49

Dow

48,578.72

S&P

7,041.28

Nasdaq

24,102.70

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 5:00 a.m. ET.

Lead: Ceasefires Aren’t War Endings

Photo credit: The White House

The White House announced a 10-day ceasefire between Lebanon and Israel. They spun this as the tenth war that President Trump has ended.

That requires some creative accounting. They are counting temporary ceasefires and de-escalations as “war endings.” Israel has been continually violating the Gaza ceasefire, so that shouldn’t count. The war in Ukraine is still ongoing. The only example that resembles something durable is the cooling of tensions between Azerbaijan and Armenia, and even that is fragile.

Further, you cannot claim the title of “War Ender” while also acting as a “War Starter.” The U.S. has provoked conflict with Iran twice in the last year, and that ceasefire is on shaky ground.

Nevertheless, the President says he has invited “the Prime Minister of Israel, Bibi Netanyahu, and the President of Lebanon, Joseph Aoun, to the White House” to work toward a permanent agreement to end Israel’s invasion of Lebanon.

Netanyahu may show up, but he has already said he has no intention of ending Israel’s presence in Lebanon. He says Hezbollah is demanding a return to internationally recognized borders and a condition of “quiet for quiet.” Netanyahu’s response is no. Israel will remain, and Hezbollah must disarm.

That is not a realistic demand. Hezbollah exists specifically to resist Israeli incursions into Lebanon. They are not going to agree to disarm while Israel maintains a presence on that land.

Will they suddenly wake up and think: Oh, we wanted Israel to stop invading us—but I guess it’s fine now?

Did President Trump pressure Netanyahu for undermining the prospect of a deal before it even began? No. Instead, he scolded Hezbollah and told them to “act nicely…No more killing.”

Last week, Israel killed over 300 civilians in a massive bombing campaign across Lebanon. There was no comparable public rebuke for that.

Congress Fails to Stop War and Proves It Won’t

Photo credit: AI-generated image (ChatGPT/OpenAI) 

The House of Representatives did not pass a resolution to end the war with Iran. The resolution failed by one vote because Democrat Jared Golden from Maine voted with Republicans to keep the war in place. The same man who has accepted over $3 million from AIPAC.

This vote was symbolic because the measure already failed in the Senate but it shows us something important: Congress is comatose.

The Constitution gives them the responsibility to stop one man from waging war at his whim, namely the President. Now both chambers have said that this war is a-okay by them.

Democrats are leading the opposition to the war but don’t give them too much credit. They voted repeatedly to fund the war in Ukraine and looked the other way during the genocide on Gaza during the Biden years. It is safe to say that the opposition party plays like they want peace when they are out of power only to wage war afresh when they are.

Journalist Glenn Greenwald calls this “Villain Rotation.”

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Redacted Featured Video

Did you miss our last live show? No problem, you can catch the replay here! And don’t miss this segment where our guest warns that the new age verification bill is a trojan horse for digital ID!

What’s Trending?

Photo credit: Yahoo

The Mandalorian & Grogu is trending because Star Wars fans are predicting the upcoming low-budget film will be a flop.

Trader Joe’s is trending after reaching a $7.4 million class action settlement over claims that receipts printed in 2019 included 10 digits of customers’ credit card numbers.

Focker In-Law is trending after the release of its trailer, reuniting Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro for more laughs.

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