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Happy Thursday.

People who can’t stick with Dry January are lowering the bar with Damp January

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In Case You Missed It. 

πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ Russian forces found the passports and bodies of two U.K. citizens in eastern Ukraine. What were they doing there? They claimed to have been helping to evacuate citizens. Hmmm. 

πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ Republican Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina filed a motion this week to build a statue of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky which would then be permanently displayed at the U.S. Capitol. 

🚽 The Golden Globes ratings were toilet bowl level. The telecast averaged 6.25 million viewers, and a 1.1 rating in the key demographic viewers between 18-49, an all-time low. Two years ago when Ricky Gervais hosted the show the ratings topped 18 million viewers. 

πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί Russia estimates that approximately 500 Ukrainian soldiers were killed in the battle at Soledar and any others that were in the area have surrendered. 

πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« Engineers in Afghanistan have made a sports car that looks like the Batmobile. 

MARKETS

Gold

$1,884.00

Silver

$23.71

Bitcoin

$18,181.50

Dow

33,973.01

S&P

3,969.61

Nasdaq

10,931.67

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 5:00pm AM. 

 

The Lead: About Those Top Secret Documents

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More classified documents have reportedly been found in the possession of President Biden, although we don’t know where the documents were kept. This is the second batch of documents after the first batch was discovered in November but reported just this week. These documents reportedly pertain to Ukraine, Iran and the United Kingdom. 

This is inconvenient for opponents of President Trump who gloated on news of the FBI raid on his home for classified documents and the continued litigation with the Justice Department over the matter. The White House has not responded to the news or the comparison of the two administrations. 

So what will the Justice Department do about a tale of two Presidents and their access to documents that are a matter of national security? Will it be “equal justice under the law,” a phrase engraved on the entrance to the U.S. Supreme Court? The Justice Department has already appointed a U.S. attorney in Chicago to investigate the matter. 

On Tuesday, President Biden said he was “surprised” to learn that one of his offices had classified records. How’d those get in there!?

This begs the question, not just about how Presidents and Vice Presidents may hide documents, but why the U.S. can’t seem to keep track of its classified documents.

Another relevant question: If these documents were discovered on November 2, why did we not know about it before the midterm election? 

You're Grounded

credit: reuters

All flights in the U.S. were grounded for 90 minutes on Wednesday due to a problem with computer systems. 

The White House and the FAA assured us that it was not a cyberattack. Instead, they say, it was a system upgrade gone wrong. Very wrong. Over 11,000 flights were grounded on Wednesday. 

Reuters reports that the FAA has struggled with technology upgrades for some time now and that certain planned upgrades will take the FAA until 2029. 

The Notice to Air Missions (NOTAM) system that caused this problem sends alerts to pilots about safety conditions. This is the system that failed. But, hey, at least it's been renamed a gender-neutral term! It used to be called Notice to Airmen, same acronym, but Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg changed the name in 2021 to make it more inclusive. Maybe they should have worked on its function a little more than its nomenclature. 

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Natural Gas Pains

credit: twitter

The battle over gas stoves is coming to a boil. (Get it!?) This is an issue that has been brewing and we’ve put it on the back burner. (Get it!?) But alas, the pot is stewing and it is time to talk about it. (Okay I’ll stop.)

On Monday, the head of the US Consumer Product Safety Commission told Bloomberg that a ban on gas stoves was being considered in order to “address the pollution, which can cause health and respiratory problems.” This caused a freakout by gas stove enthusiasts who say that the government cannot have their gas stoves. They point out that Democrats who approve this ban have gas stoves themselves. 

No one would take away gas stoves. The ban would be on all new construction homes going forward, which some cities have already done in favor of electric stoves. But do we want that?

Research does show that combusting fuel inside your home can pose a health hazard but one eagle-eyed Twitter user points out that some of that research was done by a company called Rocky Mountain Institute, a partner of the World Economic Forum. The WEF has pushed total elimination of carbon emissions, at any cost, even the lives of the poorest among us. So…huh? Conflict here or actual concern? You decide.  

This Is A Hold-Up! 

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How do you rob a bank when the bank is cashless? 

You don’t. 

That seems to be why bank robberies simply stopped in Denmark last year. In 2022, Denmark reported 0 bank holdups, down from 1 in 2021. Denmark is nearly cashless. Bloomberg reports that only 20 bank branches actually have cash so a hold-up would be fairly pointless. 

Incidentally, Anxious People is a wonderful novel about a bank robber that tries to hold up a cashless bank in Sweden. 

News By The Numbers

30 grams. That is how much crystal meth this pigeon was carrying in its backpack when it was caught by police in Canada. 

$5 million. That is how much money was found in the bankruptcy proceedings for the crypto exchange FTX. In couch cushions? 

$105. That is how much a barrel of oil could cost by the end of this year, according to Goldman Sachs estimates. This would be a big jump from the current average price of around $75 per barrel. 

What's Trending?

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This Tweet is going viral because the reporter is so beautiful. It was viewed over 6 million times and it has non-Saints fans saying they're thinking about becoming Saints fans. 

Shakira is trending because she has a new song out.

Lantinx is trending because newly-sworn-in Arkansas governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders has banned that term for official use in state government. 

PanAm is trending because of this TikTok where a woman tries on her mom’s PanAm uniform from the 1970s and it’s a winner! It was designed by Edith Head, the costume designer that worked on Hitchcock films! I want one! 

Extra credit: The PanAm video has a sequel for the 1980s PanAm uniform that has pants. Which do you like better?

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This newsletter is written and researched by Natali Morris.
Please feel free to reach Natali at [email protected]
for any editorial feedback.