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🚨 Hell Freezes Over – January 29 2026

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Happy Thursday

Forecasts are calling for possible snow in Tampa, Florida this weekend. Insert your own hell-freezing-over joke here.

Photo Credit: AI-generated image (ChatGPT/OpenAI) 

MARKETS

Gold

$5,477.99

Silver

$116.11

Bitcoin

$88,098.80

Dow

49,015.60

S&P

6,978.03

Nasdaq

23,857.45

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 5:00 a.m.

The Lead: The Epstein Files Are Coming… Someday

Photo Credit: Friends

The Department of Justice says it will release Epstein-related documents under the Epstein Transparency Act. Eventually.

In a recent court filing, DOJ explains that it is still reviewing victim lists and other “sensitive materials” to ensure compliance with the new law. The implication is that this is painstaking, unfamiliar work requiring extraordinary care and time.

That explanation strains credulity. This was their case. Their investigation. Their prosecution. Their evidence.

The DOJ spent years seizing, cataloging, reviewing, redacting, and litigating these very materials in order to prosecute Jeffrey Epstein and secure Ghislaine Maxwell’s conviction. These documents were not discovered last week in a forgotten filing cabinet. They were central to one of the most high-profile criminal cases in modern history.

Congress did not ask the DOJ to rediscover the record. It asked them to publish it with appropriate victim protections, which the Department has already applied repeatedly in court proceedings.

Instead, the DOJ is now speaking as though it is encountering the Epstein files for the first time, invoking an open-ended review process with no deadline and no clear end point. That posture doesn’t suggest a search for truth. It suggests delay.

Health Starts in the Gut

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The End of Tesla Cars? Musk Turns Fremont Into a Robot Factory

Photo credit: Tesla

Tesla cars may soon be a thing of the past. Elon Musk announced on an earnings call that the company will dedicate its Fremont, California factory to making humanoid robots instead of electric vehicles.

The Optimus 3 will launch in a few months, Musk said, and will be a “general purpose robot that will learn by observing human behavior. So you can like demonstrate a task or literally verbally describe a task or show it a task um even show it a video and it will be able to do that task. So, it’s a it’s going to be a very capable robot.”

Musk says that the goal is for the Fremont factory to build one million robots per year but since it is a brand new type of assembly line, this will be a challenge.

The Fremont factory was Tesla’s first factory. The fact that it will no longer build Model S and Model X vehicles is significant. In fact, Musk indicated that Tesla may one day not be known for EVs.

Tesla earnings were down, consistent with declining sales for all EVs. It does make sense to pivot to something else but robots!? Wow!

Side note: Fremont is also incidentally my home town.

What’s Trending

Photo credit: @NICKIMINAJ

Nicki Minaj is trending for spending time with President Trump in the White House on Wednesday.

Apple cider vinegar is trending because it turns out that it is what was sprayed on Representative Ilhan Omar on Tuesday during a public appearance.

Justin Bieber is trending because it was announced that he will perform at The Grammys this Sunday on CBS.

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This newsletter is written and researched by Natali Morris.
Please feel free to reach Natali at [email protected]
for any editorial feedback.

– Redacted News Team

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