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🚨 WEF’s New Math – January 18 2024

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Happy Thursday.

A teeny tiny snake was found in the overhead compartment of a flight in Thailand but that was enough to freak people out, myself included. 

credit: nypost

In Case You Missed It. 

🧭 A new study confirms what we've long known: men are better navigators than women. Is that why they won’t ask for directions? 

👢 Sheryl Sandberg will step down from her place on the Facebook board of directors but still serve as an advisor. 

👑 King Charles will undergo surgery for an enlarged prostate while Princess Kate is recovering from abdominal surgery, meaning two working royals are out of commission for a while. 

🇨🇳 The Wall Street Journal reports that researchers in China mapped out a complete sequence of Covid two weeks before they alerted the world about the virus. 

🇮🇱 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said that the war on Gaza may last through 2025. 

🇳🇴 Norway is sending fighter jets to Iceland for NATO. 

🇵🇰 Pakistan has launched attacks on Iran, reportedly killing at least nine people. Pakistan says that these were "highly coordinated" strikes in retaliation for Iranian strikes in Balochistan. 

🚙 A judge in Wisconsin ruled that the state cannot use mobile vans for voting.

📺 Join us live for Redacted starting at 4 PM EST. 

MARKETS

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*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 5:00pm AM. 

 

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Lead: DOJ Finally Admits The Truth Over Hunter Biden's Laptop

credit: nypost

The Department of Justice has confirmed that the Hunter Biden laptop was authentic and they knew it all along. It also shows that the FBI had previously obtained much of the laptop’s contents from a search warrant of his iCloud account. 

And what did the government learn from the laptop? They learned that the younger Biden declared that he was not a drug addict on a federal form in order to buy gun but on the same day, he took photos of “crack cocaine and drug paraphernalia on his phone.” The government says that Hunter Biden “acknowledged that he could not have received a firearm if his answer had been ‘yes.’” 

The day after all the gun buying and drug photographing, he met a drug dealer named Mookie behind a sports stadium to buy drugs. The day after that, he texted his girlfriend that he had slept in his car “smoking crack” that day.

In fact, he texted several people about all the drugs he was doing. He seems to think he is a functional addict because one text declared: “I’m a fucking better man than any man you know whether I’m smoking crack or not.” 

Miranda Devine, the NY Post reporter who broke this story initially, said this about these bombshell new filings: “Don’t hold your breath for a retraction from Joe Biden (“It’s a Russian plant”), the #Dirty51 or myriad dishonest media operatives. They blamed Russia when the Bidens knew it was Hunter – and so did the FBI. Hunter also blamed Russia when he was caught using adultery site Ashley Madison." 

Blinken: The World Wants Us To Intervene

credit: getty

The United States insists that the world really wants them to get involved in…everything. That is what Secretary of State Antony Blinken said at the World Economic Forum this week

“I’m hearing from virtually every country: They want the United States…they want us present, they want us at the table, they want us leading,” he said.

Huh. Does it matter that Americans don’t want that? New polls show that Americans increasingly oppose global intervention and “leading” of wars. 

“There’s a greater premium than there’s ever been on our engagement, on our leadership, in partnership with others,” he said. He stressed that it is the U.S. that needs to resolve the war in Gaza, despite an inability to do so thus far. But don’t worry, he’s sad about it. 

“What we’re seeing every single day in Gaza is gut-wrenching. And the suffering we’re seeing among innocent men, women and children breaks my heart.” 

On the same day that he said this, the U.S. launched a fourth wave of attacks against the Houthis in Yemen in support of Israel. Reports out of Yemen claim that the attacks hit civilian areas. 

Really, Secretary Blinken? This is what the world wants? 

The Perfect, Natural Solution to Thinning Hair

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Nothing To See Here… Move Along

credit: wef

The World Economic Forum says that you are fine, the economy is not bad and you are not struggling with increased prices. Global growth is stagnant, yes, but if you use their new economic measuring tool, things are good! 

That is because the WEF has invented the “inclusiveness pillar.” It measures global growth with “holistic” measures such as inclusivity and sustainability. So when you see that global GDP has shrunk, you can feel better when you look at global scores for these other things. We went over this new “fuzzy math” on Wednesday’s episode of Redacted

So if you are struggling to pay for groceries, you can comfort yourself that your nation is doing well in gender parity. Does that make you feel better? 

What's Trending?

credit: x

Butcher Biden is trending because Irish member of parliament Clare Daly gave this powerful speech about how Joe Biden has "enabled the continuation of Israeli terror.” She says that his Irish ancestors disowned him. Blimey! He loves saying he's Irish! It’s his favorite thing! 

Jennifer Lopez is trending because a new trailer was released for the upcoming movie “This is me…Now: A Love Story.” I’m not sure what I just watched.  

Richard Simmons is trending because he took to Facebook to let the world know that he did not give his permission for anyone to make a movie about his life starring Pauly Shore. 

News By The Numbers

€26,000. That was the value of a watch that caused actor Arnold Schwarzenegger to be held up by customs in Germany. The actor had planned to sell it at a charity auction but he was stopped by customs officials and forced to pay a fine of €35,000. Customs officials also say that they have begun criminal tax proceedings. He was understandably not happy about this. 

3. That is the age of Retro the rhesus monkey, the first cloned monkey to survive into adulthood. 

12-23%. That is how much U.S. population is expected to decline by the year 2100, according to a new study. Researchers also found that nearly half of American cities will experience population decline and become ghost towns. What about the 15,000 illegal immigrants coming across the U.S. southern border every day? Hmm. Makes ya think. 

Male Birth Control Gets a Rise

credit: nypost

The good news is that there is progress in a new male contraception called Plan A. The bad news is that it involves a shot to inject a sticky substance into the testicles. How many men do you think will sign up for a shot in their boys? 

The shot contains a hydrogel that disrupts the live sperm in semen so it can’t enter a woman during ejaculation. The company that is working on it is called NEXT Life Sciences. They say that this process is reversible but reversing it requires another shot of sodium bicarbonate, which is basically baking soda, to dissolve the hydrogel. 

Plan A lasts for approximately 10 years so a man would have to re-up it every decade. That is at least better than an IUD for women, which can last for between 1-3 years before needing replacement. 

The founder of NEXT Life Sciences is 29 year-old L.R. Fox. He insists that men his age really want this. What do you think? 


This newsletter is written and researched by Natali Morris.
Please feel free to reach Natali at [email protected]
for any editorial feedback.